Jeabyun Yeon is the founder of “Triton, the world’s first artificial gills re-breather”. Jeabyun fades in on his Kickstarter video and manages to somehow keep his calm and almost nonchalantly reveal to the world that he’s created a way to give humans the ability to breathe underwater using artificial gills. “Oh, you know, ho hum, no big deal, I just created human fucking gills that let’s you weak, air breathing mammals swim underwater without strapping all of that pesky “oxygen” to yourself.”
“Perfect tool for watersports, lifeguards and rescue boats.”The ability to breathe underwater is right up there with the ability to fly as a superpower that humans have forever longed. Enter Jeabyun Yeon, the man who claims to have made that dream come true. You might think that having invented the ABILITY TO BREATHE UNDERFUCKINGWATER this guy must be one of the world’s leading scientists, some sort of physics genius to be able to extract enough oxygen from water with this tiny device. Well, you’d be wrong. Jeabyun is a designer. Yeah, that’s right, the guy whose skill set is creating logos for your local landscaping service has invented human gills.
Surely someone involved with a Kickstarter claiming to have invented human gills that allow people to breathe underwater must be proficient in science, right? Nope, their three member team consists of an artist, a marketer and a CEO.
Triton. A state-of-the-art oxygen respirator, that allows you to breathe underwater up to 45 minutes and at a maximum depth of 15ft by utilizing our ‘artificial gills’ technology. Swim among tropical fish, marvel at exotic coral and experience the serene beauty of marine life − without having to come up for air. Welcome to Triton.
The lack of any sort of sciencey type people on the Triton team may seem a bit troublesome. Fortunately reddit user exclamationmarek knows a thing or two about physics and contacted the creators of Triton with a few of his concerns and some actual physics to back up his position.
The creators of Triton with my concerns and they swiftly reply assuring that they’ve spent 3 years and know what they are doing. They added that I can’t disprove the device after 5 minutes of googling, since their technology is new and unheard of. They were generally very polite and suggested waiting a week to see the next demonstration video.
NEW AND UNHEARD of technology! You heard it here first folks. This sweet little gadget that has raised $792,538 as of this posting is based on totally new and unheard of technology that not even the United States government has ever tested at Area 51.
Oh, and just in case the ability to breathe underwater with human gills then you might want to kick it up a notch and get yourself a limited edition Black Ops set of Tritons. In case you want to breathe underwater and hunt down terrorists.
You get your hands on one of these babies and you’ve automatically punched your ticket to become a VIP member of Team Kickass!